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SHE WAS SO BLOND THAT...
- she thought TuPac Shakur was a jewish holiday
- she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
- she thought a quarterback was a refund
- she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
- she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center
- she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats
- under "education" on her job application, she put
"Hooked On Phonics"
- she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box
because it said "concentrate"
- she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and
"DON'T WALK"
- she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
- if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change
back
- they had to burn the school down to get her out of third
grade
- she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
- at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here"...
she put "Sagittarius"
- she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store
- it takes her two ho! urs to watch 60 Minutes
- if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless
- she studied for a blood test - and failed
- she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train
- she sold the car for gas money
- when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went
home and got 16 friends
- when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home,
she moved
- she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill
- when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead
A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she
saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to
herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN
RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43
restrooms.
A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway.
"Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?"
"Driver's licence? What's that?..."
"It's a little card with your picture on it."
"Oh, duh! Here it is..."
"May I have your car insurance?"
"What's that?..."
"It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car."
"Oh this? Duh! Here you go..."
The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the blonde exclaims: "Oh no,
not another breathalyzer test!"
There
were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a
redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over
the water to the
mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore.
So she announced,
"I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam
out five miles,
and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from
the island, and
she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the
redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if
she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to
the mainland
than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim
out. The
redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as
she swam
out 10 miles before she even got tired.
After 15 miles, she was
too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to
herself, "I wonder if they made it!
I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she
swam out 5 miles,
ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island.
The shore
was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go
on!" So
she swam back.
Three blondes were walking through the desert when found a
magic genie's lamp. The genie comes out, and says, "I will grant three wishes,
one for each of you." The first said, "I wish I were smarter". So she became a
redhead. The second blonde said "I wish I were smarter than her." She became a
brunette. The third blond said "I wish I were smarter than both of them." So she
became a man.
After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex
with a blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food
to replenish his just-spent energy. He pours himself a glass of milk and right
before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty hot, so he sticks it
in the glass to cool it off. Just then the blonde walks in and says, "Oh, I
always wondered how you refilled those."
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