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65 Great Bumper Stickers 

1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.

2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.

3. If You Drink, Don't Park. Accidents Cause People. 

4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon? 

5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut. 

6. Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point. 

7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.

8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

9. Thank You For Pot Smoking. 

10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.

11. If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling. 

12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".

13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer. 

14. Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger. 

15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger

16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass

17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me 

18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home

19. I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha 

20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time 

22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult 

23. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

24. The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name 

25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

26. Illiterate? Write For Help 

27. Honk If Anything Falls Off 

28. Cover Me. I'm Changing Lanes

29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit 

30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person 

31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool! 

32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To 

33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket? 

37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...

38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...[Seen upside down on an Explorer] 

40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed for 70 mph.

41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?  

43. Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One. 

44. Ax Me About Ebonics 

45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

46. Boldly Going Nowhere

47. Cat: The Other White Meat

48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.

49. Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That.

50. Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.

51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.

52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost?

53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.

54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.

55. Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It

56. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.

57. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.

58. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets. 

59. Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them.

60. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

61. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

62. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

63. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.

64. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?

65. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

 

bumper stickers you might see someday..

 

Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass.

 

Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"

 

The proctologist called
...they found your head.

 

Everyone has a photographic memory
...some just don't have any film.

 

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

 

Your ridiculous little
opinion has been noted.

 

I used to have a handle
on life...but it broke off.

 

WANTED: Meaningful
overnight relationship.

 

Guys...just because you have one,
doesn't mean you have to be one.

 

Some people just don't know how to drive...
I call these people "Everybody But Me,"

 

Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.

 

Don't like my driving?
Then quit watching me.

 

If you can read this...I can
slam on my brakes and sue you.

 

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

 

Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

 

Hang up and drive!!

 

Welcome to America
...now speak English

 


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