Funny Stories

SAM THE JELLYFISH'S CRAZY CAR ADVENTURE!

AhAHAH this stupid kid was try to burn out in front of my friends house 2 days ago, he was filming...(for his science class..so he says)..he couldn't burn out, so me and my friend go to him like what' s going on.. he's like I'm trying to film my tires burning out. I was like..well you gotta do it like this..(it was a tip-tronic, stupid kid, he was like 17, the car had less then 200 miles on it) MORE STUPID!!! so anyways, he says "you try," gives me the keys to his car, and he doesn't even sit in the car..MORE then that. I didn't even know this kid. I'd known him for like 2 mins. STUPIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd BMW PEOPLE! anyways, I FUCK the SHIT out of the car, 4 J-Turns, (pull hand break and turn while accelerating) a WHOLE lot of BREAK HARD while FLOORING while in tip (1st gear) a whole lot of doughnuts, and the worst part about this...I never switched out of 1st gear!!! ahahah..so all in all, at the end, his transmission smelled like shit, his breaks squeaked, and I probably took like 30k miles off the top end of the car..it was HELLA fun, and HE GOT IT ON TAPE!!! now all I need is a copy :-)all in all I gotta say those BWM people are crazy..330Ci black, NICE as fuck, they pick up pretty quick so BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU RACE THEM!!!

AMIR ALI STORY #1

This is a true story of Amir Ali. The names have been changed to protect the individuals involved in the incident from public humiliation; however all the important facts remain the same, to the best of my recollection.

Several semesters ago, I had taken a course on Political Science, comparison of third world countries and their governments, at Santa Monica College. Lo and behold, how surprised I was, when Amir Ali, with whom I had attended high school with, was also in my class. Well, Amir is a strange lil fellow, if I may say so. About four weeks into class, he told me, and 2 persian girls (one of which he liked) the following story (in the words of Amir): There was this bitch I talk to a lot on internet. She was some white trash hooker lady I met in a chat room on America Online at around 3am one day. She told me she was about 5'7", 135 lbs, blue eyes, eblonde haired, big boobies, sexy ass. We talked online every day, one day I took her into my private AOL room and I cyber sexed her up so damn good. She went crazy from my cyber sexing. Everyday she wanted more cyber sexing from me. One day, I asked her for her telephone number, and she gave it to me. So I call de bitch up and we talked on the phone. A few days later, we had good ass phone sex for like 5 minutes. She told me she wanted to meet me after that, I was so excited, I was gonna fahk de bitch so hard. So I drive to like Glendale, where all the trash peoples live at. Man it was so far, like 1 hour or something I think. She live in this ghetto house with her mom. I went inside, I see the bitch lied to me. She was like 5'3", almost 190 probably, fake blonde hair and fake blue eyes. She had bigo titties though, just like she says, and big ol ass, like super size dem fries. But I get scare, I think maybe she wanna eat me for lunch, I'm no happy meal, you know? I run the fuck away to my car and gas it to hell and go home. No sex for me. I was sad. But that night, I got really horny, so I called her up and apologized, and we had more phone sex, it was great man. I love phone sexing that bitch, she gets crazy and uses all sorts of stuff on herself!

AMIR ALI STORY #2

Amir's first sexual experience occurred a while back. Here are some excerpts from the official report from the Associated Press.

Apparently, Amir Ali's uncle knew a women whose car he had fixed when it had broken down. The job cost about 300 dollars, but he performed the repairs free of charge. So she owed him a favor. Supposedly, she looks like a model. Amir's uncle set up an arrangement with the women to have sex with Amir twice, so that he could cum twice within a specified amount of time. So, they did their deed. Twice. Amir's father knew of, and approved the transaction. Furthermore, afterwards, Amir told his mother of the incident, who was quite proud about this, and happy for her son. In a separate incident, Amir went to visit his mother for Christmas in New York, and they visited a strip club - together. Something just doesn't seem right about that.

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