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A doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa.
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us
sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach
lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and
none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking
water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have,
or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most
grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his
hand and said, "Wedding Cake."
A woman awakens during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She
puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at
the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep
thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye
and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you
down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you
remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks
solemnly. "Yes, I do" she replies.
The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your
father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?" "Yes, I remember" said
the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued... "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face
and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have gotten out today."
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