Osama Jokes

Help! How do I navigate this site?!?

U.S. forces are moving into position near Afghanistan. They would have moved directly into Afghanistan, but all the caves were booked.

They say Osama bin Laden is the richest member of the Taliban living in Afghanistan. That says a lot about your country when the richest man is living in a cave. I hear he has a summer cave he vacations to, though.

I feel bad for the Arabs that have to travel. We don't want to admit it, but there is racial profiling. If you're a guy named Mohammad and your last name is not Ali – expect to have a little extra time at the airport.

I tell you, people are a lot more cautious, too. To give you an idea how tight security is here at NBC, when Pamela Anderson came here tonight, 50 Burbank Police had to pat her down just to be on the safe side!

Q: How do you play Taliban bingo? A: B-52...F-16...B-1...

Q: What is the Taliban's national bird? A: Duck

Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone? A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

Q: What does osama bin laden and General Custer have in common? A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!

Q: What's the difference between the Taliban and a bucket of shit? A: the bucket

Q: What's the five day forecast for Afghanistan? A: Two days.

Q: Why don't bin laden's people eat shit sandwiches? A: they can't stand bread

Q: Why doesn't the Taliban have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day? A: because the camels can't handle it

Top 20 unknown terrorist groups

20: Al Quesadilla -- fighting for Mexican cheese appetizers

19: B.R.A. (Banana Republican Army) -- khaki-wearing freedom fighting yuppies

18: International House of Paramilitarism -- No attacks before breakfast!

17: Al Shamu -- whales fighting for liberation of their Seaworld-captive brethren

16: Ku Klutz Klan -- clumsy, cross-burning rednecks in sheets

15: Kabob-aloos -- Cuban freedom fighters armed only with skewers

14: The IRAs -- little nebbish guys who annoy the hell out of people, with pants hiked high to conceal their Glocks

13: El McPherson -- band of crazed-from-hunger Supermodels

12: The Moulin Rouge -- French Communist song and dance troupe

11: The Spanish Imposition -- Your Tia Josephina comes for a visit, stays for a month, and lounges around all day watching Spanish soap operas with the TV volume blasting.

10: Al Kato -- freeloading houseguests who move in and eat all your food

9: The Talibananarama -- spreading the message of bad British '80s dance music

8: Hamina-hamina-hamas -- freedom fighters for Jackie Gleason

7: Balsamic Jihad -- fundamentalist food critics

6: "Weird Al" Qaeda -- attacking the capitalist, American government by spreading their revolutionary message in the form of a rousing polka medley

5: The Black Pansies -- black-gloved horticulturists

4: Yeehaw Jihad -- "The Cowboys of Chaos"

3: Al Ro'ker -- eighty percent chance of a Rain of Terror!

2: Falun Bong -- Uhm... hey, man, what are we fighting for again? and the Number 1 Little-Known Terrorist Organization...

1: Pujafudin-Pujafudout -- spreading the terror that is the Hokey Pokey

Want to contact me? Click here