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Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best
people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out
the year."
The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957
"But what ... is it good for?"
Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on
the microchip.
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a
means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us."
Western Union internal memo, 1876.
"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a
message sent to nobody in particular?"
David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the
radio in the 1920s.
"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a
'C,' the idea must be feasible."
A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper
proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal
Express Corp.)
"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"
H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.
"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary
Cooper."
Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The
Wind."
"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America
likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make."
Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.
"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.
"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."
Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.
"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature
was full of examples that said you can't do this."
Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It"
Notepads.
"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built
with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we' ll give
it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And
they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we
don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'"
Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and H-P
interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.
"Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction and
the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react. He seems
to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high schools."
1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's revolutionary rocket work.
"You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all of your
muscles? It can't be done. It's just a fact of life. You just have to accept
inconsistent muscle development as an unalterable condition of weight training."
Response to Arthur Jones, who solved the "unsolvable" problem by inventing
Nautilus.
"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're
crazy."
Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in
1859.
"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.
"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."
Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.
"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.
"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction".
Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872
"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion
of the wise and humane surgeon".
Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon- Extraordinary to
Queen Victoria 1873.
"They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits."
Congressman Joe Early (D-Mass) at a press conference to answer questions about
the House Bank Scandal.
"He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech."
Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following
up on his campaign pledge that there would be no loss of wetlands.
"It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had
their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding
position."
John Hogan, Commonwealth Edison Supervisor of News Information, responding to a
charge by a Nuclear Regulatory Commission inspector that two Dresden Nuclear
Plant operators were sleeping on the job.
"I didn't accept it. I received it."
Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the
$1000 in cash and two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he
helped arrange a private interview for them with First Lady Nancy Reagan.
"I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was
flying made what I was doing spying."
Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in
an interview after he was returned to the US.
"I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes."
President Richard Nixon
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the
country."
Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
"Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something
else anyway."
Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board, on chlordane.
"Are you any relation to your brother Marv?"
Leon Wood, New Jersey Nets guard, to Steve Albert, Nets TV commentator.
"Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ...
Reason: it has been reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976."
Letter from the Illinois Department of Public Aid
"In the early sixties, we were strong, we were virulent..."
John Connally, Secretary of Treasury under Richard Nixon, in an early seventies
speech, as reported in a contemporary "American Scholar".
"Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself."
Chicago Rotary Club journal, "Gyrator".
"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them
unsafe."
Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia.
"I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly
underpolluted."
Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should
export toxic wastes to Third World countries.
"The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty
for certain violent crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner;
and murdering a government poultry inspector."
Knight Ridder News Service dispatch
"After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school
board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the
post."
Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington Rhode Island.
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men
can fake whole relationships." -- Sharon Stone
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a
son-of-a-bitch." -- Jack Nicholson
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning
to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." -- Robin Williams
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." -- Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." -- Robert De Niro
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." -- Rod Stewart
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
enough blood to run one at a time." -- Robin Williams
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and
vehicle maintenance. -Tim Allen
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't
think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think,
"I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked." -Jerry Seinfield
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his
house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor
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