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How to be Persian: Wear black or grey anytime you leave
your house. (Men) act hard and mad dog anyone near you, (Women) talk shit about
any girl that looks better then you. Go on AOL and meet people, then tell you
friends you met them at a club a week ago. Own the Not Without My Daughter:
Special Platinum Director's Choice DVD. Credit to Matt for this! =)
Top 25 Signs You're an Iranian Girl
25. Every meal you make consists of rice and yogurt
24. You've been dancing the same way all your life!
23. Your day consists mostly of gossiping.
22. Your skirts get shorter and shorter.
21. You think you were "wasted"...or "Haroom shodee" when you got married...
20. The only English words you know for the first 2 years that you are here are:
OK! Thanksss-you very MUCH! 911...
19. Your all uptight about what your daughter wears at first, but in 6 months
you'll be dressing worse!
18. Your worried what your friends might think of you...
17. You'd think it'd kill ya to shave your legs!!!!!!
16. You flirt with persian guys but then call them losers..
15. You go to think ANDY is sooo hot!
14. Your parents only find out about your boyfriend the night of your wedding...
13. Your always dragged on to the dance floor for weddings...
12. Your biggest fear is not to get married...
11. You can relate to at lease ONE thing on this list...
10. No matter how many sit-ups you do, you still have that little pouch of
stomach sticking out from all the 'pollo' you were fed since you were a baby
9. The first thing you do when you turn thirteen is get rid of your unibrow.
8. The second thing is to bleach your hair blond
7. The third thing is to add strawberry highlights.
6. No matter how successful you are in your career and social life, your
mother's friends still cackle : "Khob, key shoharesh midi?"
5. You keep getting set up with fat hairy iranian "doctors" (then you find out
he is actually a real estate agent).
4. Your biological clock has been tick-tick-ticking since you learned how to
tell the time.
3. You think you're the most beautiful/stylish girl in the room. When your
boyfriend makes eyes at that catherine zeta-jones lookalike, you meow: "I heard
she's the town slut!"
2. With the first beats of bAbA Karam, an invisible force springs you up from
your seat and makes your hips swivel to the rhythm until you make Elvis turn in
his grave.
1. Waxing, Waxing, and Some more Waxing!
Top 25 Signs You're an Iranian Guy
25. You have an Intravenous bottle attached to your bed injecting you with
chelokabob so that your chelokabAb/blood level doesn't titter dangerously low
during the night.
24. Your idol is Al Pacino in 'Scarface'.
23. You introduce yourself to blondes at nightclubs as 'half-Italian,
half-Spanish'
22. Your name is Abdolghassem but for some reason your business card reads
'Tony'
21. You will dump your neurosurgeon iranian girlfriend in a second if you think
you had a tenth of a chance with that fat polish chick who sprays "Obsession" in
the mall for a living. (But she's blonde!!!!)
20. You are in your seventh year in "pre-med" at the University.
19. After the seventh year you switch to "pre-law"
18. After that you decide to go into real estate.
17. You own a BMW that's so old it won't start (but at least you get to say you
drive a BMW at parties!!!!)
16. Hair, Hair, and More Hair
15. your friends names are Tony, Mike, and Bob, but they can't speak a word of
english!
14. You talk to your friends on the cell phone even though you can see them in
the distant!
13. You call "weed" Yonjeh!
12. YOU BLAME THE REVOLUTION ON EVERYONE EXCEPT YOUSELVES!
11. You were supposedly a doctor in Iran.
10. Your only cure for any illness is "Chai nabat"!
9. You start off every shopping purchase with..."I Vant Dat vOne"
8. You constantly remind your kids to eat as much as you can when you go "Meh-moony"
7. Your always asking fellow persians about they're income, and how much they
both their car, house, business...and so on
6. You make Turkish jokes even though your own parents or grandparents were tork.
5. Every day you have a new cell phone, which is always in your hand or hanging
out your pocket just so people can see that you have one!
4. You must constantly remind your non-persian friends to take off they're shoes
when they come to your house.
3. NO ONE CAN PRONOUNCE YOUR NAME PROPERLY!!
2. You think persian girls are ugly but that's only because you can't get any!!
1. You can relate to 3 or more things on this list...
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