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You're from the West Coast when...
--You make over $250,000 and still can't afford to buy your
own house.
--The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his
cell phone.
--The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.
--You know how to eat an artichoke.
--You drive to your neighborhood block party.
You're from New York when...
--You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean
Manhattan.
--You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire
State Building.
--You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get
from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find
Wisconsin on a map.
--You think Central Park is "nature."
--You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You're from Colorado when...
--You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
--You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home
and he stops at the day care.
--A pass does not involve a football or dating.
--The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail.
--Your bridal registry is at REI.
* One hand on wheel, one hand out of window : Chicago.
* One hand on wheel, one hand on horn : New York.
* One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston.
* Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror :
Ohio, but driving in California.
* Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to
someone in back seat: Italy.
* *One hand on horn, one hand greeting, one ear on cell phone, one ear listening
to loud music, foot on accelerator, eyes on female pedestrians, conversation
with someone in next car : Welcome to Iran!
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