(and get away with it)
Most people say cheating is bad, and it's wrong. There is also that popular phrase everyone loves to use: "When you cheat, you're really cheating yourself." Is this true? I say: HELL NO! If you get away with cheating in school, GOOD GOING. I have cheated on tests, homework, projects and other assignments all through my scholastic career, beginning (at least from what I can recall) the 3rd grade, up through college. It's something I take pride in. I feel very good about myself when I cheat on a major exam and get away with it, and it's an art form that I continually improve upon as time goes by, new methods are discovered, and requirements change. I'm proud to say that out of the hundreds of times I've cheated, I've only been caught ONE time, and even that, was not my own fault directly. I will now share with you, the secrets of cheating in school.
On the left, I have provided valuable links on my favorite cheating methods, and what to avoid when cheating. If you have further methods you would like to share with others, please contact me. I will gladly add your tactics and give you credit for them!
According to PBSkids.org, here is a list of common arguments AGAINST cheating, I am going to respond to each point individually.
Cheating
can get you in serious trouble
Every school has a cheating policy, and punishments can be pretty harsh,
starting with an automatic F or Zero on the test or assignment, and going all
the way up to getting kicked out of school. If you cheat to get a better grade,
you're taking a big risk of getting a much worse grade that will seriously set
you back. Getting booted from school will set you back even more.
My response: Only if you get caught! Don't get caught, and you won't get in any trouble.
Cheating is unfair to you
You've probably heard an old saying that goes: "When you cheat, you're really
cheating yourself." Sure, it sounds corny, but it does make a lot of sense.
School can help make you a better person in many ways, and help you learn the
things you need to live a fulfilling life. If you never really learn these
things because you're cheating, then all you're going to learn is how to cheat!
It can be difficult to look towards the future like that when you're freaking
about
tomorrow's big test, but try to have faith in the big picture.
My response: Unfair? What the hell? I'm not even going to respond to this cause I think this claim is so absolutely bogus.
My friend Veerus had his own response: School is unfair to you too! Most of the shit you're required to take in school, you will never need in your life. Unless you're a physics/math major, why the FUCK would you need calculus 3?? So if you're forced to take these fuck-tarded courses which will not teach you anything, then save time for yourself and cheat. Once you pass the class one way or the other, you'll forget about the shit you supposedly learned anyway, so take the easy way out.
Cheating is unfair to your friends
It's important to play fair in games and sports, and that goes for school, too.
If you've ever had a friend who was so determined to win at all costs that she
cheated at whatever game you played, you know how upsetting this can be. You're
playing by the rules, and then someone does better than you by breaking the
rules. It stinks, and it's unfair. When you cheat in school to get better
grades, it's unfair to the kids who actually studied and did the work.
My response: Fuck my friends. Let them cheat too. The only way its unfair is if the test/assignment is graded on a curve. If that's the case, fuck the teacher, because that's the most ridiculous way of grading. Grades are for individuals, and shouldn't be based on class performance. So cheat anyways and do better.
Cheating can lead to more cheating
Have you ever told a lie, and then found that you had to tell more and more lies
just to hide the fact that you told a lie in the first place? Cheating can be
like this, too. Say, for instance, someone didn't want to learn the
multiplication table, so instead she wrote down the answers on her binder. When
the class starts doing more difficult problems, she won't know the basics and
might cheat to make up for it. Every time you cheat, you're not learning skills
and lessons that could be important later on.
My response: I hope that's true. The more practice you get at cheating, the better you will become at it. Remember, practice makes perfect.
Cheating destroys trust
In order for school to work smoothly, students and teachers have to trust one
another. People who cheat are telling their teachers that they're not
trustworthy, and this can make getting through the school year a lot more
difficult. Your teacher might be suspicious of everything you hand in, and it
can be very hard to win back that trust.
My response: Trust my ass. I don't trust any of my goddamn teachers to begin with. And besides, if no one knows I'm cheating (since I wont get caught) how would it destroy trust?
Cheating is the same as lying
Some people who get away with cheating on a test or homework assignment will
brag about it to friends, like it's something to be proud of or that proves how
clever they are. But it's not so common to hear someone bragging about being a
liar, right? That's because most of us don't think very highly of someone who
lies. Think about this: every time you hand in schoolwork that you cheated on,
it's like telling the teacher that you did it totally on your own. If this isn't
true, then what you're doing is lying.
My response: If you are saying that I'm lying to my teacher... again, SO FUCKING WHAT. Lying to my friends.. well that's not good, I need friends. I don't need teachers, not beyond the semester I'm with them anyhow. So fuck the long-term consequences of lying to some professor I'll never see again.
You can't be proud of cheating
When you accomplish something on your own, it makes you proud. Remember the
first time you rode a bike by yourself? It probably felt great. Now imagine that
you never rode that bike by yourself, but always had training wheels to help
you. You wouldn't be as proud, would you? Cheating is like having those training
wheels on your bike all the time. You might get an A on a test or an assignment,
but you'll know that you really didn't earn it.
My response: YOU'RE DAMN STRAIGHT I'M PROUD OF CHEATING. Are you kidding me? There is no better feeling in the world (save for sex, and taking a good piss when you really gotta go) than getting away with cheating your balls off during some final exam or major project. Why spend hours studying when you can get the same grade in 10 minutes!
