A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A LEET HAX0R
by ccKnighT
Part 2: A Sunny Summer Day
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6:45am: Elite hax0r is fast asleep, dreaming of haxxing some chix at the beach.
9:25: Elite hax0r wakes up to a small wet spot on his bed, and signs onto AOL (as
always, computer is never turned off)
9:30: Elite hax0r checks new mail for elite hacking programs and warez, but
instead finds his inbox to be flooded with cool porn mail which he will come
back to lat0rz
9:40: After 10 minutes of chatting in with the folks in leet, elite hax0r's mom
takes the telephone off the hook (goddamn mom's!)
9:55: Part of the daily routine, m0m and elite hax0r are having an argument about wasted time online.
10:15: elite hax0r rides his bike out to the beach, in search of hot chix0rz
10:40: On the way to the beach, elite hax0r spots an internet cafe, and decides
to make a quick hax attempt at some free online time
10:44: Store owner, pheering the skillz of elite hax0r, kicks him out promptly.
10:45: elite hax0r continues trip to beach
1:00: after spending some time
searching for chix, elite hax0r gives up and decides to go to his friends house,
n00b
1:20: elite hax0r brags about carding
his leet0 webcam from buy.com to n00b. (of course, elite hax0r actually got the
webcam for his birthday from his mom).
1:25: clearly impressed by the skillz of his elite friend, n00b asks elite hax0r
to card him a webcam, using his mother's credit card
2:15: elite hax0r cracks aol's busy signal using his leet auto-redial warez,
and signs onto the new aol 9.0 beta, further impressing his friend, n00b.
2:30: elite hax0r gets onto buy.com and cards a webcam for n00b and new dvd-rw
for himself, as "commission." Naturally, he cards both items to n00bs house, via
fedex next day delivery.
2:45: elite hax0r and n00b crack dr. tcp from dslreports.com and improve their
connection speed by 3k
3:15: tired of all this work, n00n and elite hax0r take a nap.
5:00: elite hax0r and n00b wake up,
and are disappointed their webcam and dvd-rw have not yet arrived. they decide
to log on to buy.com and order them again with a credit card elite hax0r had
traded for with 10 porn site passwords, just make sure of their delivery.
5:15: elite hax0r rides his bike
home.
6:15: elite hax0r comes home, and
eats dinner with his mom, Ms. Hax0r
6:00: hax0r children finish dinner, and elite hax0r asks for permission to get
online and hack some stuff.
6:05: elite hax0r battles AOL's perpetual busy signal; its probably just a ploy
by AOL to block him from coming online, in ph33r he might hax0r their network.
7:05: elite hax0r continues to hax0r away at AOL's "busy signal" and
finally is successful. he enter private room 'leet' where people are discussing
about a kid named n00b who got nabbed by the FBI for trying to use stolen credit
cards.
7:45: elite hax0r continues work on his haxing manifesto, knowing in his heart
it will one day become a new york times bestseller
8:30: after working on his manifesto,
elite hax0r decides to take a break and play some battlefield 1942, where he has
cracked his game and gets auto-aim and unlimited bullets to terr0rize his
enemies with
9:25: leet hax0r brushes his teeth, puts on his kevin mitnick pajamas, and goes
to sleep.
10:00: leet hax0r dreams that he is Dade Murphy, and that he is having wild
sex0r with Acid Burn, while hacking the FBI's Main Gibson.
